Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Rand's First Post: McNasty Injured

By: Antoine Randel-El (AKA Randy McNally AKA 3Pointtally)

So I leave work today and get in my car and start driving when I see something flapping under the windshield wipers. So I reach out and grab it and it's a note from somebody telling me that they hit my car and broke my rearside tail light. I hadn't noticed since I just got in the drivers side while leaving work.

So I get home and check it out and sure enough the lamp cover is completly smashed.So I call the number and speak to the woman who only left me her phone number, p.o. box, and name ... and I asked her what she wanted me to do. So she told me "Get it fixed and then mail me the bill and I'll get the money back to you" ... I don't like this at all. So I told her that was a no go. I told her "I will get an estimate for the damage from the dealership, and then I will phone you and we can meet somewhere and I will show you the estimate and then you can give me the money BEFORE I get it fixed." She didn't seem to like this idea, but there is no way I'm getting fucked over so I told her that's about the only thing I was willing to do. She said fine.

Then I talked to my buddy from work who said he saw the whole thing happen in the parking lot but didn't realize she hit my car ... and apparently the bitch backed out into my car, got out and saw the damage and got into her truck and tried to just drive away. Customers noticed and were trying to stop her as she tried to go the far end of the parking lot ... however we have a garden center set up for the summer so she got stuck and had to do a U-Turn and drive back past my car at which point people blocked her in and forced her to leave the information for me. Fucking baffoon.

Editor's Note: Baffoon may have been substituted for another word.

Editor's Note 2: Be on the look out for a brand new article, "Lookalikes", in which people in my everyday life are contrasted with famous people in picture form, soon!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

HULK SMASH... DAVE LAZE

Mmmmmyello...

I woke up around 11:30 (already an amazing day), and headed over to Terra's house. We cooked some pizza and enjoyed that, then made the decision that we were going to head to a movie. The WINNAH was The Incredible Hulk.

So off we went to the Meadowlands. As we walked up to the theatre, I busted out the "thing bulging from your stomach when you pull on your sleeve" trick from like Grade 3, which got a laugh from Terra and a little redness in the cheeks. Was she embarassed to be with me? Or was it too cold? I'll never know.

Maybe she was embarassed to be with me in the cold.

We purchased tickets for the show at 4 o'clock, even though it said "HV" after it on the title.

Terra: Sorry, what does HV mean?
Ticket Lady: Nothing

Alriiiiiight then. Thanks for the info.

We chilled at Chapter's for a bit, Terra bought an OUTRAGEOUSLY OVERPRICED BOOK, and then we headed to the theatre.

Good time had by all at the show. Really enjoyed Edward Norton as Hulk. He's an amazing actor. Go watch American History X! Legit. We also snuck in Fuzzy Peaches and Swedish Berries, which were pure deliciousness and epic win all around.

So we headed to Starbucks afterwards and had frappacinos that featured chocolateness. More deliciousness. Off to Stoney Creek following said frappacinos.

And now I work tomorrow 8-4. Ewwwwwww. Epic fail.

HULK SMASH.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Needle And Nickle Groove...

Sorry, I'm still suffering from a bit of a Chicago Cubs hangover. What an awesome weekend.

I had a hell of a time on Saturday, and it was a little surreal at times, so I tried to take it all in. Jays games were of course nothing new, but seeing my team live and in colour was just stellar. I also got to see Reed "For Speed" Johnson hit a 3-Run homerun that blew the roof off the place! Take that, JP. Nice move, cutting him from your roster and such. Brilliance.

Of course, the party was short-lived when I had to go into work the next day. It was a bit of a disaster, as Saturday had been an all-out sale because of this quarterly sales period ending. I swear, it looked like there was an immanent tornado/hurricane/earthquake/Cubs World Series party and everyone had come for supplies and such. I just hope everyone stayed behind the flaming garbage cans and were let in 80 people at a time. By the time they got in the store at night, there was probably only Creamed Eels and Wadded Beef left. But as long as they got the last pineapple! Plenty ripe, too.

I'm working on getting Randy to do his first post. He's pretty lazy, quite like myself. On top of that, I have a Bob Steele Shoot Interview planned, that will lay it all out on the line. Haven't you wanted to know more about Bob since, well... forever? Now will be your chance.

Also, anyone who wants to put up guest articles, send em' my way. I'm willing to put just about anything, as long as it creates sentences. At least partial sentences. And not wingdings.

LOL @ the word "wingdings".

I have another shift to look foward to tonight... 4-10pm. Sigh. But on the plus side, I've officially notified my manager that I'm done at the end of the summer. Yes, for good. None of this "fake leaving" stuff I've done for three years.

It's all apart of the huge change in my life coming up this fall.

And no, I am not Batman.

... yet.

Friday, June 13, 2008

So come on Davey, sing me something that I know...

Wow, I totally forgot how difficult it is to be clever or creative with these things.

Hello, by the way. My name is Dave, and I'll be your host this millenium. OK, so I probably won't live that long. On top of that, I probably won't keep up with a blog for a few months, never mind a thousand years. I'm lazy, you see, and thus the prospect of continually updating a blog, which requires opening a new browser, going to the blogpost, PUTTING in my password and-- I've lost interest.

Randy's going to be co-hosting this epic party, so be nice to him, won't you friends? He's a good dude. We co-ran this blog way back in high school (that's a long-ass time ago now, isn't it?) and we had a lot of fun. Let's re-create the magic. I know the split was rough, Randell, but I think we can work out our differences. We need to do it for the kids. THE KIDS!

So, anyways... life?

Tomorrow, I am heading to the Blue Jays game. A usual summer occurance, I know. But this game is pretty remarkable and special. Why? It's against my beloved TV's Chicago Cubs! Yes, they're from TV, because that's the only time I ever see them. Quite like TV's Bob Saget, or TV's Jaleel White. Hey, why did Family Matters never crossover with Full House? That's just built-in hilarity. Can you imagine it?

Uncle Jesse: Don't touch the hair, Eurkel! THE HEEEIIIAAAAR-HUH!
Eurkel: ... did I do that?
Danny: Yes, you did. And we need to talk about boundries, Steven. *Piano music* There's good touches, and bad touches...

What the hell was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Cubs against the Jays. This is epic, friends. EPIC! I get to see Derrek "The Two R's Are Not a Typo" Lee, Aramis "Gonna Hit Four Home Runs" Ramirez, Kosuke "God" Fukudome (Is that nickname sacreligious?) among others. I've wanted to see these guys since I was like 12 years old. I am prepared to be all giddy and mark out like a school girl.

Er, boy.

It's going to be fun running one of these things again. I can start archiving my life. And my life is definitely going to change in a few months... we'll get to that later. Let's keep this one light. Have a cookie, I'll pour some tea.

It's going to be a fun show.

Might as well have a positive outlook, you know?

I've... well, I've always believed in futures, you see...

Peace and love. Regular love to most of you, SEXY LOVE to Terra. Rawr.